








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 155 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1812 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,721 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1757 | 31% |
| Smokes | 600 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 1988 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1376 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $740,499 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 728 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | trolgo | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | Kitten | 59% | 17 |
| #3 | |Blade| | 58% | 24 |
| #4 | brandon | 58% | 26 |
| #5 | no0nec4res | 56% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Jamy | 38% | 16 |
| #12 | heinzzketchup | 36% | 45 |
| #13 | TIMING!?! | 33% | 15 |
| #14 | Timmi Hilfiger | 31% | 13 |
| #15 | Phipsi | 26% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gimli | 16 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | brandon | 7 | 0.0132 |
| #3 | poljak. | 5 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | no0nec4res | 3 | 0.0062 |
| #5 | Glatzkopf Kahlkopfgfdg | 2 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gimli | 344 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #2 | no0nec4res | 121 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #3 | |Blade| | 86 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | poljak. | 69 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Glatzkopf Kahlkopfgfdg | 69 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jamy | +4.31 | 82 | 64 |
| #2 | trolgo | +3.71 | 67 | 41 |
| #3 | brandon | +3.20 | 82 | 17 |
| #4 | |Blade| | +2.47 | 62 | 65 |
| #5 | no0nec4res | +1.85 | 63 | 58 |





