








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 240 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1766 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,136 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2226 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2608 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2587 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1715 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $728,461 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 235 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wabbit | 47% | 17 |
| #2 | Pede // Fuiyoh | 46% | 63 |
| #3 | Frygt Ikke Tro Kun | 45% | 92 |
| #4 | Rivimi | 44% | 135 |
| #5 | Precum Manifest | 43% | 141 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Rivimi | 44% | 135 |
| #5 | Precum Manifest | 43% | 141 |
| #6 | Håbet ♿ | 42% | 165 |
| #7 | Garfield | 37% | 43 |
| #8 | Doglord | 36% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rivimi | 8 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Håbet ♿ | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Precum Manifest | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Pede // Fuiyoh | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Garfield | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Håbet ♿ | 778 | 0.23 | 20 min |
| #2 | Precum Manifest | 444 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #3 | Rivimi | 287 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | Frygt Ikke Tro Kun | 121 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | Pede // Fuiyoh | 80 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Garfield | +2.80 | 73 | 60 |
| #2 | Precum Manifest | +2.12 | 72 | 65 |
| #3 | Frygt Ikke Tro Kun | +1.38 | 66 | 67 |
| #4 | Håbet ♿ | +0.25 | 50 | 66 |
| #5 | Pede // Fuiyoh | +0.17 | 66 | 54 |





