








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 34 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
432 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,558 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 219 | 14% |
| Smokes | 208 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 573 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 558 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $377,029 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frygt Ikke Tro Kun | 43% | 60 |
| #2 | Rivimi | 42% | 91 |
| #3 | Precum Manifest | 39% | 114 |
| #4 | Pede // Fuiyoh | 39% | 28 |
| #5 | Håbet ♿ | 38% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Pede // Fuiyoh | 39% | 28 |
| #5 | Håbet ♿ | 38% | 118 |
| #6 | Ash på Hash | 38% | 8 |
| #7 | t-bag☕ | 36% | 58 |
| #8 | Garfield | 15% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Håbet ♿ | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Precum Manifest | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Rivimi | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Frygt Ikke Tro Kun | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | t-bag☕ | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Håbet ♿ | 449 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #2 | Precum Manifest | 342 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | Rivimi | 210 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | t-bag☕ | 114 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Frygt Ikke Tro Kun | 74 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Garfield | +3.30 | 68 | 60 |
| #2 | Precum Manifest | +2.61 | 73 | 65 |
| #3 | Frygt Ikke Tro Kun | +2.04 | 63 | 69 |
| #4 | Pede // Fuiyoh | +0.44 | 64 | 50 |
| #5 | Håbet ♿ | +0.09 | 51 | 65 |





