








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 383 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 112 matches | ||
| Faceit | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4667 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,728 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3889 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3678 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3302 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2859 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $655,671 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 267 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | number 1 foreign hater | 7 | 0.0101 |
| #2 | Grilo | 6 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | | TrollmercY | | 6 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | typhoon | 5 | 0.0076 |
| #5 | xito | 4 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fl1ck Of The Wrist | 345 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #2 | C4ch@s da bala | 331 | 0.26 | 9 min |
| #3 | MF DOOM | 284 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #4 | ManJa' | 266 | 0.25 | 7 min |
| #5 | xito | 254 | 0.14 | 5 min |





