








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 265 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 161 matches | ||
| Faceit | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3600 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,803 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3530 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2641 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3498 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2134 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,112,870 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 455 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #17 | HezzYP | 51% | 69 |
| #18 | Cardee | 50% | 22 |
| #19 | JONNHHHY | 50% | 32 |
| #20 | C4ch@s da bala | 50% | 56 |
| #21 | Peria | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | typhoon | 10 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | Grilo | 10 | 0.0086 |
| #3 | HezzYP | 7 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | youlol ⨻ | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | | TrollmercY | | 5 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | typhoon | 373 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #2 | C4ch@s da bala | 326 | 0.27 | 10 min |
| #3 | MF DOOM | 319 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #4 | ManJa' | 294 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #5 | Fl1ck Of The Wrist | 209 | 0.18 | 5 min |





