








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 323 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 71 matches | ||
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1569 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,313 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2398 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2135 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2033 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1747 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $354,753 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 90 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NAMEK | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | DeSousa- | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | MF DOOM | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | xito | 56% | 57 |
| #5 | youlol ⨻ | 56% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #16 | Mohamed_LilPescador | 42% | 19 |
| #17 | JONNHHHY | 41% | 29 |
| #18 | | TrollmercY | | 40% | 15 |
| #19 | Dg | 33% | 9 |
| #20 | typhoon | 28% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xito | 8 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | typhoon | 8 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | Grilo | 8 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | Mohamed_LilPescador | 5 | 0.0123 |
| #5 | C4ch@s da bala | 3 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C4ch@s da bala | 251 | 0.29 | 9 min |
| #2 | typhoon | 206 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #3 | Grilo | 166 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | Fl1ck Of The Wrist | 156 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | youlol ⨻ | 145 | 0.13 | 3 min |





