








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 322 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 103 matches | ||
| Faceit | 61 matches | ||
| Wingman | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2499 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,456 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2356 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1668 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1665 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1767 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $831,693 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FE | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | Shupo Ikomo Sen Nojo | 63% | 38 |
| #3 | NiKo | 59% | 46 |
| #4 | ManJa' | 57% | 23 |
| #5 | youlol ⨻ | 56% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | C4ch@s da bala | 44% | 57 |
| #13 | HezzYP | 43% | 23 |
| #14 | typhoon | 41% | 27 |
| #15 | rosana | 38% | 16 |
| #16 | JONNHHHY | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grilo | 9 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | | TrollmercY | | 8 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | xito | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | C4ch@s da bala | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Shupo Ikomo Sen Nojo | 3 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xito | 287 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #2 | C4ch@s da bala | 268 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #3 | Fl1ck Of The Wrist | 252 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | youlol ⨻ | 201 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | Grilo | 132 | 0.13 | 3 min |





