








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1698 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,383 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 679 | 11% |
| Smokes | 1968 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1869 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1867 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $191,838 of utility $43 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 96 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Allen Career Institute | 70% | 23 |
| #2 | ✰G̷L̷₳D̷Ї₳ƬØR̷ ツ | 66% | 29 |
| #3 | i ♡ turtles | 59% | 17 |
| #4 | [D¢lr8] ƒєαя | 53% | 17 |
| #5 | RizzleR | 50% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | CombatWombat | 42% | 31 |
| #10 | Warfully | 42% | 12 |
| #11 | ✪KenNi™ | 40% | 30 |
| #12 | Milk Crayon | 33% | 24 |
| #13 | Possibly Kim | 27% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CombatWombat | 4 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Veyron | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | ✰G̷L̷₳D̷Ї₳ƬØR̷ ツ | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Milk Crayon | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | cyraci | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪KenNi™ | 222 | 0.36 | 7 min |
| #2 | FinessedCheeks | 192 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | CombatWombat | 184 | 0.28 | 5 min |
| #4 | Milk Crayon | 122 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #5 | Veyron | 94 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FinessedCheeks | +3.85 | 61 | 67 |
| #2 | Possibly Kim | +3.62 | 87 | 29 |
| #3 | Veyron | +2.15 | 81 | 53 |
| #4 | Allen Career Institute | +2.12 | 60 | 37 |
| #5 | Lewis | +0.33 | 60 | 50 |





