








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 129 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 229 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2096 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,315 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 882 | 11% |
| Smokes | 2543 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2231 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2659 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,310,135 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 57 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Sted | 47% | 230 |
| #4 | BoZzMaC | 43% | 61 |
| #5 | NEBB | 42% | 64 |
| #6 | Eisbaerg | 39% | 77 |
| #7 | Schmuserkadser | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sted | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | ⎛⎝ Rupel ⎠⎞ | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | NEBB | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | BoZzMaC | 5 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Eisbaerg | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⎛⎝ Rupel ⎠⎞ | 782 | 0.16 | 18 min |
| #2 | Sted | 508 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #3 | NEBB | 339 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #4 | Eisbaerg | 138 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | BoZzMaC | 30 | 0.02 | 1 min |





