








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 327 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 326 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3848 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,832 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3030 | 22% |
| Smokes | 5500 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 2537 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2765 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,382,568 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 477 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⎛⎝ Rupel ⎠⎞ | 53% | 317 |
| #2 | NEBB | 50% | 88 |
| #3 | BoZzMaC | 47% | 119 |
| #4 | Mulli | 47% | 230 |
| #5 | Eisbaerg | 40% | 127 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⎛⎝ Rupel ⎠⎞ | 53% | 317 |
| #2 | NEBB | 50% | 88 |
| #3 | BoZzMaC | 47% | 119 |
| #4 | Mulli | 47% | 230 |
| #5 | Eisbaerg | 40% | 127 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⎛⎝ Rupel ⎠⎞ | 14 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | BoZzMaC | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | NEBB | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Mulli | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Eisbaerg | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⎛⎝ Rupel ⎠⎞ | 1029 | 0.15 | 24 min |
| #2 | NEBB | 459 | 0.24 | 14 min |
| #3 | Eisbaerg | 236 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | Mulli | 172 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #5 | BoZzMaC | 75 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NEBB | +1.89 | 68 | 66 |
| #2 | BoZzMaC | +1.11 | 65 | 47 |
| #3 | Sted | +0.23 | 67 | 63 |
| #4 | Eisbaerg | -0.05 | 59 | 58 |
| #5 | ⎛⎝ Rupel ⎠⎞ | -0.69 | 38 | 65 |





