








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 662 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 721 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7094 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,155 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7834 | 27% |
| Smokes | 9941 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 4336 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 7044 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,740,372 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 53 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NEBB | 49% | 72 |
| #2 | Schmuserkadser | 47% | 72 |
| #3 | BoZzMaC | 47% | 244 |
| #4 | ⎛⎝ Rupel ⎠⎞ | 44% | 99 |
| #5 | Sted | 40% | 127 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Schmuserkadser | 47% | 72 |
| #3 | BoZzMaC | 47% | 244 |
| #4 | ⎛⎝ Rupel ⎠⎞ | 44% | 99 |
| #5 | Sted | 40% | 127 |
| #6 | Mulli | 39% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BoZzMaC | 12 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | ⎛⎝ Rupel ⎠⎞ | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Sted | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Schmuserkadser | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | NEBB | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⎛⎝ Rupel ⎠⎞ | 303 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | NEBB | 277 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #3 | Sted | 228 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | BoZzMaC | 180 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #5 | Schmuserkadser | 61 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NEBB | +1.16 | 69 | 65 |
| #2 | BoZzMaC | +0.93 | 61 | 49 |
| #3 | Eisbaerg | +0.07 | 57 | 63 |
| #4 | Schmuserkadser | -0.32 | 58 | 49 |
| #5 | Sted | -0.68 | 70 | 62 |





