








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 153 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




69 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2771 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,481 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4511 | 36% |
| Smokes | 3485 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1847 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2638 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $999,624 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 315 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Perry | 53% | 40 |
| #7 | [AiR] 9Milli | 51% | 106 |
| #8 | 3hFreeSx LeqZi | 49% | 121 |
| #9 | Belzebub | 44% | 43 |
| #10 | Matze | 39% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 3hFreeSx LeqZi | 48 | 0.0189 |
| #2 | Drückeberger | 32 | 0.0111 |
| #3 | [AiR] 9Milli | 15 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | 3hFreeSx Familienvater | 15 | 0.0092 |
| #5 | Kirmesgemeinde | 13 | 0.0092 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drückeberger | 642 | 0.22 | 21 min |
| #2 | 3hFreeSx LeqZi | 461 | 0.18 | 15 min |
| #3 | 3hFreeSx Familienvater | 209 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | [AiR] 9Milli | 201 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | Belzebub | 181 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swazie | +1.33 | 62 | 63 |
| #2 | Drückeberger | +1.17 | 86 | 80 |
| #3 | 3hFreeSx Familienvater | +1.06 | 85 | 62 |
| #4 | 3hFreeSx LeqZi | +0.47 | 71 | 77 |
| #5 | Perry | -0.10 | 76 | 60 |





