








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 171 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 206 matches | ||
| Premier | 163 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3911 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,660 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4944 | 32% |
| Smokes | 5116 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2551 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 3049 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,151,048 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 118 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p.shadow | 64% | 36 |
| #2 | jac0jac0 | 54% | 61 |
| #3 | Nukes | 54% | 108 |
| #4 | 40r3sk1n adjust3r | 52% | 213 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p.shadow | 64% | 36 |
| #2 | jac0jac0 | 54% | 61 |
| #3 | Nukes | 54% | 108 |
| #4 | 40r3sk1n adjust3r | 52% | 213 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 40r3sk1n adjust3r | 9 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | jac0jac0 | 5 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Nukes | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | p.shadow | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 40r3sk1n adjust3r | 1244 | 0.27 | 32 min |
| #2 | Nukes | 342 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | p.shadow | 182 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #4 | jac0jac0 | 65 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p.shadow | +1.42 | 76 | 62 |
| #2 | 40r3sk1n adjust3r | +0.76 | 54 | 63 |
| #3 | jac0jac0 | +0.38 | 77 | 46 |
| #4 | FlameOG | -0.12 | 75 | 59 |
| #5 | Nukes | -1.42 | 59 | 55 |





