








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 607 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1095 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,866 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1153 | 40% |
| Smokes | 726 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 542 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 445 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $610,211 of utility $233 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 362 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Èl Kake | 51% | 35 |
| #2 | Samppu | 40% | 62 |
| #3 | MonitoimiMasa | 38% | 40 |
| #4 | s))) | 37% | 41 |
| #5 | nUgez | 35% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MOKA | 22 | 0.0268 |
| #2 | Samppu | 13 | 0.0096 |
| #3 | käpy | 9 | 0.0075 |
| #4 | nUgez | 6 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | MonitoimiMasa | 4 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Samppu | 254 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #2 | MOKA | 210 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #3 | käpy | 161 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | nUgez | 160 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #5 | Èl Kake | 113 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Samppu | +2.65 | 72 | 60 |
| #2 | Èl Kake | +0.92 | 73 | 67 |
| #3 | Alapox | +0.63 | 58 | 50 |
| #4 | MOKA | -0.05 | 52 | 50 |
| #5 | nUgez | -0.65 | 52 | 66 |





