








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 463 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 187 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1560 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,930 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 956 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1167 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1533 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1274 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $903,222 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 295 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | s))) | 38% | 50 |
| #7 | Samppu | 38% | 66 |
| #8 | Alapox | 38% | 40 |
| #9 | nUgez | 37% | 46 |
| #10 | MOKA | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MR worm | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Alapox | 5 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | Samppu | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | nUgez | 4 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | MOKA | 3 | 0.0077 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Samppu | 264 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #2 | nUgez | 179 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #3 | Èl Kake | 133 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | Alapox | 133 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | s))) | 91 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Samppu | +2.81 | 64 | 60 |
| #2 | Èl Kake | +1.01 | 68 | 57 |
| #3 | MR worm | +0.99 | 33 | 30 |
| #4 | Alapox | +0.76 | 54 | 57 |
| #5 | nUgez | +0.44 | 55 | 65 |





