








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 829 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 333 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3471 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,068 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2536 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4291 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 1598 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 2643 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,255,387 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 720 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Èl Kake | 54% | 95 |
| #2 | MOKA | 54% | 97 |
| #3 | nUgez | 50% | 149 |
| #4 | Samppu | 50% | 171 |
| #5 | s))) | 50% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | nUgez | 50% | 149 |
| #4 | Samppu | 50% | 171 |
| #5 | s))) | 50% | 109 |
| #6 | MonitoimiMasa | 41% | 41 |
| #7 | Alapox | 33% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MOKA | 19 | 0.0102 |
| #2 | Samppu | 17 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | nUgez | 11 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Alapox | 8 | 0.0066 |
| #5 | s))) | 4 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Samppu | 549 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #2 | nUgez | 432 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #3 | MOKA | 362 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #4 | Èl Kake | 257 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #5 | s))) | 206 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Samppu | +2.17 | 59 | 63 |
| #2 | Alapox | -0.01 | 58 | 53 |
| #3 | Èl Kake | -0.17 | 67 | 60 |
| #4 | nUgez | -0.19 | 58 | 66 |
| #5 | s))) | -0.53 | 56 | 48 |





