








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 195 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1870 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,711 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1088 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1094 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1106 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1423 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $535,657 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 100 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WHo0t??? | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | th0z | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | ZappelNinja | 69% | 51 |
| #4 | somE' | 67% | 9 |
| #5 | carrymoN | 60% | 106 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shivâ | 11 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | carrymoN | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | ZappelNinja | 5 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | ♰Stay♰ | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Ming0 | 3 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cRu | 1018 | 0.40 | 30 min |
| #2 | Shivâ | 521 | 0.21 | 12 min |
| #3 | ZappelNinja | 177 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #4 | carrymoN | 150 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Hans Dampf | 96 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cRu | +4.09 | 85 | 82 |
| #2 | ZappelNinja | +1.80 | 77 | 65 |
| #3 | carrymoN | +1.01 | 63 | 47 |
| #4 | revaage | +0.72 | 77 | 49 |
| #5 | ♰Stay♰ | +0.03 | 76 | 44 |





