








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 239 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Renown | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1840 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,067 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2554 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3408 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1628 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2477 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $500,635 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 59 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | th0z | 60% | 15 |
| #7 | Hans Dampf | 59% | 32 |
| #8 | revaage | 57% | 134 |
| #9 | Ming0 | 47% | 53 |
| #10 | jackbau3r | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | revaage | 10 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | ♰Stay♰ | 5 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | cRu | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | carrymoN | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Ming0 | 4 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cRu | 1180 | 0.37 | 35 min |
| #2 | revaage | 343 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | carrymoN | 166 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | ZappelNinja | 115 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | ♰Stay♰ | 100 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cRu | +3.98 | 86 | 80 |
| #2 | ZappelNinja | +1.26 | 78 | 64 |
| #3 | carrymoN | +0.78 | 60 | 48 |
| #4 | revaage | +0.63 | 76 | 47 |
| #5 | ♰Stay♰ | +0.55 | 74 | 39 |





