








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 589 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2709 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,685 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2701 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1377 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2403 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1204 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,069,329 of utility $205 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 168 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Janeckin | 37% | 46 |
| #13 | j0NsK11 | 36% | 22 |
| #14 | pomppy | 36% | 69 |
| #15 | Makita | 36% | 111 |
| #16 | Jeqy | 33% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pomppy | 187 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | Tikutti | 183 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #3 | Janeckin | 148 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | Kumivene Soodu | 144 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | Matias | 89 | 0.09 | 2 min |





