








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1284 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 424 matches | ||
| Faceit | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 116 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




70 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6891 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,413 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7738 | 29% |
| Smokes | 6677 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 6024 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5974 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,527,676 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2121 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | St0p_Me I love Jack | 60% | 94 |
| #2 | Nayf | 57% | 54 |
| #3 | brYce | 55% | 223 |
| #4 | ULTRXX | 55% | 137 |
| #5 | Gouly | 55% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cal | 44 | 0.0084 |
| #2 | brYce | 19 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Bubbles >_< uWu | 18 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | Big Ash | 16 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | St0p_Me I love Jack | 14 | 0.0069 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brYce | 920 | 0.19 | 26 min |
| #2 | cal | 859 | 0.16 | 22 min |
| #3 | ULTRXX | 438 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #4 | Big Ash | 395 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #5 | Bubbles >_< uWu | 309 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | St0p_Me I love Jack | +2.08 | 93 | 61 |
| #2 | ULTRXX | +1.83 | 91 | 62 |
| #3 | hAze | +1.33 | 82 | 62 |
| #4 | cal | +1.31 | 68 | 68 |
| #5 | FiSh | +0.94 | 62 | 74 |





