








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 393 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1805 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,869 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 811 | 21% |
| Smokes | 793 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1334 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 931 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,067,262 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Herr Bergsteiger | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | Juicy | 62% | 21 |
| #3 | kernsp3cht51 | 55% | 114 |
| #4 | gkgamers | 54% | 78 |
| #5 | Nicolas Cage | 51% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kernsp3cht51 | 11 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | collins | 10 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Nicolas Cage | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | FuNk | 5 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | Shumar | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | collins | 393 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #2 | Nicolas Cage | 251 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | FuNk | 237 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #4 | gkgamers | 231 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | kernsp3cht51 | 179 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Herr Bergsteiger | +6.32 | 72 | 72 |
| #2 | FuNk | +2.92 | 84 | 69 |
| #3 | kernsp3cht51 | +2.28 | 80 | 58 |
| #4 | collins | +1.70 | 84 | 64 |
| #5 | gkgamers | +1.03 | 52 | 65 |





