








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 635 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 298 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4776 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,480 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1589 | 17% |
| Smokes | 3100 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3802 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 989 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $429,345 of utility $29 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 797 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ji₥ | 50% | 141 |
| #2 | Peetree | 49% | 108 |
| #3 | TPK | 49% | 51 |
| #4 | SketchXo | 49% | 189 |
| #5 | Pleeb | 47% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Pleeb | 47% | 55 |
| #6 | Jacube | 47% | 60 |
| #7 | felix | 46% | 61 |
| #8 | SpaceBabe | 44% | 36 |
| #9 | ~𝙩𝙊𝘼𝘿™ | 41% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ji₥ | 11 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | SketchXo | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Pleeb | 6 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | felix | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Jacube | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ji₥ | 426 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #2 | Peetree | 296 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | SketchXo | 268 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #4 | ~𝙩𝙊𝘼𝘿™ | 104 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | TPK | 83 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ji₥ | +5.56 | 83 | 69 |
| #2 | SketchXo | +3.99 | 81 | 60 |
| #3 | TPK | -0.34 | 37 | 59 |
| #4 | ~𝙩𝙊𝘼𝘿™ | -0.76 | 19 | 75 |
| #5 | Douganater | -1.45 | 48 | 34 |





