








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 115 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2063 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,592 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1854 | 40% |
| Smokes | 722 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1315 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 701 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $822,659 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 487 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Harpy XV | 53% | 76 |
| #2 | felix | 52% | 134 |
| #3 | TheYazman10 | 48% | 81 |
| #4 | Douganater | 47% | 55 |
| #5 | ji₥ | 47% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ji₥ | 441 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #2 | Jacube | 310 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #3 | Harpy XV | 194 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | felix | 148 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | SketchXo | 134 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Harpy XV | +7.84 | 85 | 74 |
| #2 | ji₥ | +5.40 | 84 | 71 |
| #3 | SketchXo | +3.75 | 82 | 57 |
| #4 | TPK | +0.14 | 43 | 60 |
| #5 | Douganater | -1.41 | 33 | 30 |





