








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 107 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
941 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,502 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1328 | 38% |
| Smokes | 980 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 784 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 410 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $176,158 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P1kasso | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | Guts | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | N1kKI | 56% | 16 |
| #4 | crzibiza. | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | Gʟ!Ɲ ☕ | 51% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | benE | 48% | 66 |
| #9 | GoForLaw @ Rentnerpeek | 48% | 44 |
| #10 | Kosaku | 47% | 53 |
| #11 | Fred | 46% | 13 |
| #12 | Sn4k3 | 43% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | benE | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | GoForLaw @ Rentnerpeek | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Gʟ!Ɲ ☕ | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Kosaku | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Sn4k3 | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | benE | 253 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #2 | Gʟ!Ɲ ☕ | 242 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #3 | GoForLaw @ Rentnerpeek | 85 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Kosaku | 72 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Sn4k3 | 70 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Guts | +2.39 | 71 | 69 |
| #2 | StinsoN | +1.75 | 86 | 69 |
| #3 | Jerry | +1.45 | 67 | 56 |
| #4 | Gʟ!Ɲ ☕ | +1.26 | 67 | 77 |
| #5 | benE | +0.03 | 68 | 66 |





