








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 71 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September






The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
892 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,734 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 715 | 41% |
| Smokes | 187 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 406 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 426 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $162,489 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 216 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Lachtoast | 74% | 31 |
| #5 | monet | 70% | 30 |
| #6 | seras | 69% | 80 |
| #7 | Kyoto | 63% | 8 |
| #8 | Cordial | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | seras | 16 | 0.0115 |
| #2 | Kyoto | 7 | 0.0476 |
| #3 | Lachtoast | 4 | 0.0069 |
| #4 | sicherlich nicht seras | 4 | 0.0396 |
| #5 | monet | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sicherlich nicht seras | +8.67 | 99 | 37 |
| #2 | ☆ 111loggedin // ddaddy kitten ♡ | +8.67 | 97 | 34 |
| #3 | monet | +7.45 | 99 | 18 |
| #4 | Kyoto | +3.31 | 90 | 39 |
| #5 | Lachtoast | +2.96 | 88 | 24 |





