








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 239 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
823 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,457 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 540 | 22% |
| Smokes | 303 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 968 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 646 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $236,146 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 257 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | future. | 100% | 6 |
| #2 | sugar | 89% | 9 |
| #3 | doxe | 89% | 9 |
| #4 | GSTAR | 86% | 7 |
| #5 | Ayumi.- | 78% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | IkoMe | 50% | 12 |
| #10 | seras | 50% | 40 |
| #11 | Cordial | 40% | 10 |
| #12 | AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA | 40% | 10 |
| #13 | (◣_◢) | 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | anything | 6 | 0.0400 |
| #2 | seras | 4 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | IkoMe | 2 | 0.0085 |
| #4 | AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA | 2 | 0.0104 |
| #5 | doxe | 2 | 0.0111 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | seras | 43 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #2 | Ayumi.- | 40 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #3 | IkoMe | 30 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #4 | AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA | 29 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| #5 | sugar | 17 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GSTAR | +8.16 | 99 | 33 |
| #2 | doxe | +3.81 | 91 | 45 |
| #3 | < blank > | +3.25 | 97 | 60 |
| #4 | Kyoto | +2.96 | 86 | 38 |
| #5 | sugar | +2.50 | 77 | 42 |





