








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 231 matches | ||
| Wingman | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4054 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,654 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 599 | 23% |
| Smokes | 298 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 807 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 950 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $459,738 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 563 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EXCUH | 97% | 34 |
| #2 | ves | 90% | 177 |
| #3 | AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA | 88% | 144 |
| #4 | wex | 83% | 86 |
| #5 | seras | 77% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ves | 90% | 177 |
| #3 | AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA | 88% | 144 |
| #4 | wex | 83% | 86 |
| #5 | seras | 77% | 71 |
| #6 | anything | 70% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ves | 20 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA | 20 | 0.0103 |
| #3 | seras | 12 | 0.0104 |
| #4 | wex | 7 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | EXCUH | 7 | 0.0140 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA | 297 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #2 | seras | 87 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | anything | 44 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | ves | 37 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| #5 | wex | 37 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ves | +8.61 | 100 | 21 |
| #2 | wex | +6.94 | 100 | 14 |
| #3 | monet | +6.30 | 100 | 26 |
| #4 | EXCUH | +4.73 | 92 | 28 |
| #5 | seras | +3.55 | 95 | 50 |





