








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 12 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
127 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 517 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 169 | 33% |
| Smokes | 82 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 165 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 101 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $25,663 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpOnSiE | 44% | 9 |
| #2 | Boeta69 | 38% | 8 |
| #3 | ParraQii | 33% | 9 |
| #4 | Jade | 30% | 10 |
| #5 | Flamingo | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Boeta69 | 38% | 8 |
| #3 | ParraQii | 33% | 9 |
| #4 | Jade | 30% | 10 |
| #5 | Flamingo | 25% | 4 |
| #6 | Ivan | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpOnSiE | 5 | 0.0281 |
| #2 | ParraQii | 3 | 0.0169 |
| #3 | Flamingo | 1 | 0.0147 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jade | 20 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #2 | SpOnSiE | 20 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | Ivan | 18 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #4 | Flamingo | 15 | 0.22 | 0 min |
| #5 | ParraQii | 9 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpOnSiE | +2.51 | 56 | 38 |
| #2 | vexxcon O₂ | +1.66 | 78 | 69 |
| #3 | ParraQii | +1.66 | 62 | 48 |
| #4 | Ivan | -0.35 | 67 | 59 |
| #5 | Flamingo | -2.53 | 5 | 59 |





