








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 32 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 134 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
842 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,710 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 462 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1160 | 43% |
| HE Grenades | 190 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 898 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $250,899 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ivan | 40% | 87 |
| #2 | SpOnSiE | 39% | 18 |
| #3 | Jade | 39% | 83 |
| #4 | ParraQii | 36% | 14 |
| #5 | Flamingo | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ivan | 40% | 87 |
| #2 | SpOnSiE | 39% | 18 |
| #3 | Jade | 39% | 83 |
| #4 | ParraQii | 36% | 14 |
| #5 | Flamingo | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpOnSiE | 5 | 0.0139 |
| #2 | Ivan | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | ParraQii | 3 | 0.0109 |
| #4 | Jade | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Flamingo | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ivan | 242 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | Jade | 116 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | Flamingo | 47 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | SpOnSiE | 22 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | ParraQii | 5 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpOnSiE | +5.89 | 67 | 48 |
| #2 | Ivan | +3.64 | 69 | 68 |
| #3 | ParraQii | +1.27 | 65 | 27 |
| #4 | Flamingo | -1.66 | 17 | 61 |
| #5 | Jade | -3.90 | 18 | 43 |





