








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 119 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
930 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,377 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1088 | 32% |
| Smokes | 550 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 996 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 743 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $366,051 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ivan | 39% | 122 |
| #2 | SpOnSiE | 39% | 49 |
| #3 | Boeta69 | 39% | 83 |
| #4 | ParraQii | 38% | 50 |
| #5 | Flamingo | 27% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ivan | 39% | 122 |
| #2 | SpOnSiE | 39% | 49 |
| #3 | Boeta69 | 39% | 83 |
| #4 | ParraQii | 38% | 50 |
| #5 | Flamingo | 27% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpOnSiE | 12 | 0.0120 |
| #2 | ParraQii | 8 | 0.0082 |
| #3 | Ivan | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Flamingo | 2 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ivan | 340 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #2 | SpOnSiE | 66 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | Boeta69 | 65 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | Flamingo | 57 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | ParraQii | 24 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpOnSiE | +4.38 | 64 | 54 |
| #2 | Ivan | +2.98 | 71 | 71 |
| #3 | ParraQii | +0.99 | 56 | 37 |
| #4 | Flamingo | -1.10 | 17 | 59 |
| #5 | Jade | -4.34 | 13 | 44 |





