








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 232 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 205 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1279 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,061 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 523 | 10% |
| Smokes | 187 | 4% |
| HE Grenades | 2107 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 2244 | 44% |
Our logs show you have wasted $419,743 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 547 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rambonomics | 41% | 46 |
| #2 | Khexxal | 41% | 98 |
| #3 | SwiftSwim | 39% | 147 |
| #4 | ROCKADAMS | 39% | 111 |
| #5 | Big Tony | 38% | 312 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ROCKADAMS | 39% | 111 |
| #5 | Big Tony | 38% | 312 |
| #6 | eMoney | 36% | 80 |
| #7 | Jish | 36% | 138 |
| #8 | Squeaks | 35% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Khexxal | 21 | 0.0102 |
| #2 | eMoney | 15 | 0.0086 |
| #3 | Big Tony | 12 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | SwiftSwim | 9 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | ROCKADAMS | 5 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Tony | 603 | 0.09 | 18 min |
| #2 | Jish | 444 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #3 | SwiftSwim | 202 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | Squeaks | 72 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Rambonomics | 55 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Squeaks | +1.87 | 61 | 58 |
| #2 | ROCKADAMS | +1.65 | 51 | 20 |
| #3 | Rambonomics | +1.22 | 25 | 28 |
| #4 | Big Tony | +1.05 | 39 | 57 |
| #5 | eMoney | +0.95 | 13 | 15 |





