








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 259 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 253 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2009 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,414 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1540 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2809 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2366 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1699 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $705,009 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 290 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jish | 44% | 77 |
| #2 | Khexxal | 44% | 100 |
| #3 | eMoney | 43% | 61 |
| #4 | ROCKADAMS | 41% | 106 |
| #5 | Big Tony | 39% | 161 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ROCKADAMS | 41% | 106 |
| #5 | Big Tony | 39% | 161 |
| #6 | Ryan Reynolds | 39% | 147 |
| #7 | Rambonomics | 38% | 26 |
| #8 | Squeaks | 32% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Khexxal | 13 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | Ryan Reynolds | 10 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | eMoney | 9 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | Big Tony | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Squeaks | 4 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Tony | 354 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #2 | Jish | 268 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | Ryan Reynolds | 95 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | Khexxal | 50 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | Squeaks | 42 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ROCKADAMS | +1.76 | 48 | 14 |
| #2 | Squeaks | +1.46 | 63 | 53 |
| #3 | Big Tony | +1.40 | 39 | 56 |
| #4 | Rambonomics | +0.56 | 23 | 38 |
| #5 | Khexxal | -0.32 | 49 | 37 |





