








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 281 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1247 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,187 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1660 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2364 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1969 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2194 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $529,097 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 40 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rambonomics | 45% | 22 |
| #2 | SwiftSwim | 44% | 77 |
| #3 | eMoney | 41% | 41 |
| #4 | ROCKADAMS | 40% | 45 |
| #5 | Big Tony | 36% | 143 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ROCKADAMS | 40% | 45 |
| #5 | Big Tony | 36% | 143 |
| #6 | Ryan Reynolds | 36% | 138 |
| #7 | Squeaks | 29% | 28 |
| #8 | Khexxal | 28% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ryan Reynolds | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Big Tony | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | SwiftSwim | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Khexxal | 4 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | Rambonomics | 2 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Tony | 281 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #2 | SwiftSwim | 120 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | Ryan Reynolds | 96 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #4 | Squeaks | 41 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Rambonomics | 35 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Squeaks | +3.14 | 63 | 58 |
| #2 | Rambonomics | +1.55 | 24 | 27 |
| #3 | Big Tony | +1.28 | 39 | 57 |
| #4 | ROCKADAMS | +1.15 | 51 | 21 |
| #5 | Khexxal | -0.23 | 48 | 40 |





