








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 77 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
563 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,096 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 276 | 13% |
| Smokes | 674 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 261 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 885 | 42% |
Our logs show you have wasted $644,013 of utility $223 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeF-MonK | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | mibber | 45% | 137 |
| #3 | tubskibadutski | 44% | 119 |
| #4 | spraelle | 43% | 124 |
| #5 | kreds | 39% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeF-MonK | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | mibber | 45% | 137 |
| #3 | tubskibadutski | 44% | 119 |
| #4 | spraelle | 43% | 124 |
| #5 | kreds | 39% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tubskibadutski | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | mibber | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | spraelle | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | kreds | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mibber | 420 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #2 | tubskibadutski | 372 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #3 | spraelle | 191 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | kreds | 45 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | DeF-MonK | 12 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeF-MonK | +4.68 | 67 | 67 |
| #2 | tubskibadutski | +4.18 | 61 | 72 |
| #3 | mibber | +1.76 | 59 | 72 |
| #4 | spraelle | -2.25 | 35 | 68 |
| #5 | kreds | -2.38 | 41 | 48 |





