








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 183 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1844 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,666 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1750 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1593 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1266 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1057 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $484,016 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 37 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeF-MonK | 52% | 33 |
| #2 | :i | 50% | 10 |
| #3 | spraelle | 45% | 119 |
| #4 | mibber | 45% | 128 |
| #5 | ident | 44% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | spraelle | 45% | 119 |
| #4 | mibber | 45% | 128 |
| #5 | ident | 44% | 119 |
| #6 | mohol | 42% | 12 |
| #7 | kreds | 39% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ident | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | mibber | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | spraelle | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | kreds | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | DeF-MonK | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mibber | 369 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #2 | spraelle | 180 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | ident | 66 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | kreds | 45 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | DeF-MonK | 38 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tubskibadutski | +3.71 | 60 | 71 |
| #2 | :i | +2.47 | 60 | 35 |
| #3 | DeF-MonK | +1.83 | 69 | 60 |
| #4 | mibber | +1.31 | 59 | 71 |
| #5 | mohol | +0.80 | 57 | 68 |





