








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 85 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
733 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,883 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1043 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1634 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 824 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1382 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $497,953 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeF-MonK | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | tubskibadutski | 45% | 119 |
| #3 | mibber | 44% | 133 |
| #4 | ident | 43% | 124 |
| #5 | kreds | 38% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeF-MonK | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | tubskibadutski | 45% | 119 |
| #3 | mibber | 44% | 133 |
| #4 | ident | 43% | 124 |
| #5 | kreds | 38% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tubskibadutski | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | ident | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | mibber | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | kreds | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mibber | 391 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #2 | tubskibadutski | 355 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #3 | ident | 64 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #4 | kreds | 48 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | DeF-MonK | 10 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tubskibadutski | +4.37 | 62 | 72 |
| #2 | DeF-MonK | +4.14 | 73 | 61 |
| #3 | mibber | +1.57 | 58 | 71 |
| #4 | spraelle | -2.17 | 34 | 68 |
| #5 | kreds | -2.40 | 42 | 49 |





