








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 87 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
666 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,623 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 238 | 9% |
| Smokes | 850 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 822 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 713 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $504,197 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ident | 39% | 109 |
| #2 | tubskibadutski | 39% | 102 |
| #3 | mibber | 39% | 115 |
| #4 | spraelle | 38% | 110 |
| #5 | DeF-MonK | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ident | 39% | 109 |
| #2 | tubskibadutski | 39% | 102 |
| #3 | mibber | 39% | 115 |
| #4 | spraelle | 38% | 110 |
| #5 | DeF-MonK | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ident | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | tubskibadutski | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | mibber | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | spraelle | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mibber | 355 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #2 | tubskibadutski | 320 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #3 | spraelle | 175 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | ident | 58 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | DeF-MonK | 12 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tubskibadutski | +4.42 | 61 | 71 |
| #2 | mibber | +1.41 | 58 | 71 |
| #3 | DeF-MonK | -0.29 | 69 | 55 |
| #4 | spraelle | -2.36 | 36 | 68 |
| #5 | kreds | -2.42 | 42 | 49 |





