








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 377 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 137 matches | ||
| Premier | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3150 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,679 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 991 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1594 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1743 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2351 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,111,976 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 142 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hooplah | 8 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | - booper - | 8 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Mezzi | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | atlas | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Mario | 3 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mezzi | 318 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #2 | - booper - | 315 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #3 | Pungents | 309 | 0.38 | 7 min |
| #4 | Hooplah | 300 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #5 | macepts | 189 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mezzi | +4.24 | 89 | 62 |
| #2 | macepts | +4.00 | 80 | 67 |
| #3 | - booper - | +1.36 | 74 | 63 |
| #4 | Hooplah | +1.04 | 88 | 58 |
| #5 | T-Bo | +0.59 | 88 | 46 |





