








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1035 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 351 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8155 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,155 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5114 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3572 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3896 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3573 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,160,109 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 209 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | - booper - | 73% | 30 |
| #2 | Hooplah | 60% | 40 |
| #3 | T-Bo | 59% | 70 |
| #4 | atlas | 54% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | - booper - | 73% | 30 |
| #2 | Hooplah | 60% | 40 |
| #3 | T-Bo | 59% | 70 |
| #4 | atlas | 54% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T-Bo | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | - booper - | 2 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | - booper - | 97 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | Hooplah | 72 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | T-Bo | 71 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | atlas | 51 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mezzi | +4.44 | 90 | 63 |
| #2 | Hooplah | +0.81 | 87 | 59 |
| #3 | T-Bo | +0.01 | 88 | 47 |
| #4 | - booper - | -0.08 | 68 | 66 |
| #5 | atlas | -0.18 | 80 | 62 |





