








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
239 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 832 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 310 | 37% |
| Smokes | 223 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 77 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 222 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $129,326 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chiseled Chin | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | Joeys World Tour | 36% | 33 |
| #3 | Rick | 36% | 42 |
| #4 | KevinS | 33% | 9 |
| #5 | Stoner GabeN | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | KevinS | 33% | 9 |
| #5 | Stoner GabeN | 33% | 24 |
| #6 | TheCh3mist | 25% | 8 |
| #7 | Motortrends Truck Of the Year | 25% | 12 |
| #8 | Wook | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Motortrends Truck Of the Year | 4 | 0.0190 |
| #2 | Joeys World Tour | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Rick | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Chiseled Chin | 1 | 0.0090 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rick | 76 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #2 | Stoner GabeN | 69 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | Joeys World Tour | 34 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Motortrends Truck Of the Year | 28 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | TheCh3mist | 23 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chiseled Chin | +4.95 | 59 | 53 |
| #2 | Wook | +3.36 | 78 | 68 |
| #3 | Joeys World Tour | +2.51 | 77 | 60 |
| #4 | KevinS | +0.97 | 61 | 36 |
| #5 | Stoner GabeN | +0.29 | 75 | 69 |





