








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Faceit | 89 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2236 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,011 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2443 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2452 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1285 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1831 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $649,668 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boris | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | Chiseled Chin | 56% | 84 |
| #3 | TheCh3mist | 56% | 63 |
| #4 | Joeys World Tour | 52% | 158 |
| #5 | Wook | 50% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | TheCh3mist | 56% | 63 |
| #4 | Joeys World Tour | 52% | 158 |
| #5 | Wook | 50% | 14 |
| #6 | Rick | 48% | 75 |
| #7 | Kizkey | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chiseled Chin | 18 | 0.0100 |
| #2 | Joeys World Tour | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Rick | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | TheCh3mist | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Kizkey | 2 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chiseled Chin | 184 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #2 | Rick | 172 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | Joeys World Tour | 159 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #4 | TheCh3mist | 124 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Kizkey | 62 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chiseled Chin | +3.02 | 59 | 56 |
| #2 | Wook | +2.83 | 71 | 71 |
| #3 | Joeys World Tour | +1.66 | 76 | 62 |
| #4 | Stoner GabeN | -0.30 | 76 | 69 |
| #5 | TheCh3mist | -0.33 | 39 | 51 |





