








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
144 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 167 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 54 | 32% |
| Smokes | 44 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 59 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 10 | 6% |
Our logs show you have wasted $61,397 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stoner GabeN | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | Chiseled Chin | 38% | 16 |
| #3 | Kizkey | 33% | 9 |
| #4 | Joeys World Tour | 33% | 9 |
| #5 | Rick | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Kizkey | 33% | 9 |
| #4 | Joeys World Tour | 33% | 9 |
| #5 | Rick | 31% | 13 |
| #6 | Motortrends Truck Of the Year | 25% | 8 |
| #7 | TheCh3mist | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Motortrends Truck Of the Year | 4 | 0.0299 |
| #2 | Chiseled Chin | 3 | 0.0097 |
| #3 | Joeys World Tour | 1 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rick | 27 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #2 | Chiseled Chin | 24 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | Kizkey | 24 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| #4 | Motortrends Truck Of the Year | 17 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #5 | Joeys World Tour | 9 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stoner GabeN | +3.98 | 71 | 54 |
| #2 | Chiseled Chin | +2.23 | 63 | 55 |
| #3 | Joeys World Tour | +0.78 | 82 | 58 |
| #4 | Kizkey | +0.29 | 69 | 43 |
| #5 | TheCh3mist | -0.03 | 38 | 54 |





