








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1945 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 424 matches | ||
| Faceit | 294 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




157 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11743 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,587 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10580 | 40% |
| Smokes | 5007 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 5990 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5010 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,246,726 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1549 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yuno | 59% | 321 |
| #2 | PhilMcCrackin | 58% | 153 |
| #3 | JonwithnoH | 54% | 138 |
| #4 | sebzera | 53% | 266 |
| #5 | Scaks | 51% | 542 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Scaks | 51% | 542 |
| #6 | Kurisu | 50% | 130 |
| #7 | Yuuki | 50% | 103 |
| #8 | Captainclover | 49% | 132 |
| #9 | O_O | 47% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scaks | 44 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Yuno | 32 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | sebzera | 19 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Yuuki | 18 | 0.0084 |
| #5 | JonwithnoH | 14 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scaks | 2202 | 0.19 | 53 min |
| #2 | sebzera | 1073 | 0.19 | 23 min |
| #3 | Yuno | 657 | 0.10 | 17 min |
| #4 | Kurisu | 469 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #5 | JonwithnoH | 301 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saint | +2.23 | 86 | 55 |
| #2 | JonwithnoH | +1.22 | 93 | 52 |
| #3 | Yuno | +0.70 | 72 | 54 |
| #4 | Kurisu | +0.32 | 67 | 50 |
| #5 | PhilMcCrackin | +0.23 | 91 | 56 |





