








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 582 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 696 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4928 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,546 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 760 | 4% |
| Smokes | 5252 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4587 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 6947 | 40% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,569,188 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tokhet | 60% | 45 |
| #2 | Onkel David (Chips) | 56% | 82 |
| #3 | Horkrine | 48% | 101 |
| #4 | MrClutchiee | 46% | 74 |
| #5 | MrClutchie | 44% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Onkel David (Chips) | 56% | 82 |
| #3 | Horkrine | 48% | 101 |
| #4 | MrClutchiee | 46% | 74 |
| #5 | MrClutchie | 44% | 71 |
| #6 | Z.Ibrahimovic | 43% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Horkrine | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Tokhet | 5 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Z.Ibrahimovic | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | MrClutchie | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Onkel David (Chips) | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Onkel David (Chips) | 372 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #2 | Horkrine | 336 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #3 | MrClutchiee | 248 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #4 | MrClutchie | 138 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Z.Ibrahimovic | 30 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tokhet | +6.18 | 83 | 59 |
| #2 | Onkel David (Chips) | +1.12 | 61 | 57 |
| #3 | MrClutchiee | +0.92 | 44 | 68 |
| #4 | Horkrine | +0.77 | 77 | 61 |
| #5 | MrClutchie | +0.57 | 50 | 63 |





