








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 242 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1286 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,363 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1591 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1320 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1344 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1108 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $310,922 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Z.Ibrahimovic | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | Cori | 44% | 71 |
| #3 | Horkrine | 36% | 14 |
| #4 | Onkel David (Chips) | 17% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Z.Ibrahimovic | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | Cori | 44% | 71 |
| #3 | Horkrine | 36% | 14 |
| #4 | Onkel David (Chips) | 17% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cori | 3 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Onkel David (Chips) | 66 | 0.26 | 1 min |
| #2 | Horkrine | 34 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | Cori | 19 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Z.Ibrahimovic | +1.14 | 46 | 35 |
| #2 | Onkel David (Chips) | +0.72 | 66 | 51 |
| #3 | MrClutchie | +0.32 | 52 | 63 |
| #4 | Horkrine | -0.44 | 78 | 57 |
| #5 | Cori | -2.42 | 44 | 34 |





