








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 887 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 321 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 122 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 77 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5769 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,558 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5383 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5404 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3409 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 4362 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,530,074 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 237 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S1mpleTronic | 53% | 201 |
| #2 | L𝔬n𝔢✞S𝔲rv𝔦v𝔬r | 47% | 95 |
| #3 | Domineerbeer | 45% | 256 |
| #4 | Føx | 45% | 314 |
| #5 | -Barra- | 44% | 432 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Barra- | 50 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | S1mpleTronic | 28 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | Domineerbeer | 11 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | TJ | 11 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Føx | 9 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Barra- | 1594 | 0.20 | 42 min |
| #2 | S1mpleTronic | 913 | 0.22 | 25 min |
| #3 | Domineerbeer | 768 | 0.17 | 23 min |
| #4 | TJ | 356 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #5 | Føx | 305 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S1mpleTronic | +3.86 | 79 | 73 |
| #2 | -Barra- | +2.51 | 81 | 67 |
| #3 | Domineerbeer | +2.40 | 81 | 71 |
| #4 | L𝔬n𝔢✞S𝔲rv𝔦v𝔬r | +1.20 | 73 | 77 |
| #5 | Føx | -1.57 | 56 | 45 |





