








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 216 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3818 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,885 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2348 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1849 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3068 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1620 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $846,851 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 915 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PI Jatrick | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | cruzera | 56% | 131 |
| #3 | Xcellon3890 | 54% | 125 |
| #4 | EXC3SS | 54% | 54 |
| #5 | w1pe0ut | 53% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | w1pe0ut | 53% | 30 |
| #6 | krA | 53% | 76 |
| #7 | 𝙄𝙑𝙀𝙉𝙃𝙊𝙀 | 51% | 156 |
| #8 | yen0M | 48% | 96 |
| #9 | mko | 48% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cruzera | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | EXC3SS | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | 𝙄𝙑𝙀𝙉𝙃𝙊𝙀 | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | krA | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Xcellon3890 | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝙄𝙑𝙀𝙉𝙃𝙊𝙀 | 742 | 0.24 | 22 min |
| #2 | cruzera | 490 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #3 | Xcellon3890 | 343 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | yen0M | 224 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | EXC3SS | 220 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PI Jatrick | +2.84 | 78 | 77 |
| #2 | dragon | +2.26 | 90 | 58 |
| #3 | w1pe0ut | +1.01 | 83 | 61 |
| #4 | cruzera | +0.94 | 75 | 61 |
| #5 | yen0M | +0.28 | 85 | 66 |





