








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1439 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 294 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 96 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6756 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,348 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5772 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5833 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5124 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4619 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,925,649 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 399 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Barbie | 66% | 41 |
| #2 | PI Jatrick | 63% | 51 |
| #3 | EXC3SS | 62% | 107 |
| #4 | mrtN | 57% | 42 |
| #5 | krA | 57% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | 𝙄𝙑𝙀𝙉𝙃𝙊𝙀 | 53% | 359 |
| #8 | yen0M | 53% | 203 |
| #9 | Xcellon3890 | 53% | 327 |
| #10 | mko | 52% | 106 |
| #11 | w1pe0ut | 51% | 121 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝙄𝙑𝙀𝙉𝙃𝙊𝙀 | 14 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | dragon | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | krA | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | mrtN | 4 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | EXC3SS | 3 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝙄𝙑𝙀𝙉𝙃𝙊𝙀 | 1654 | 0.22 | 43 min |
| #2 | Xcellon3890 | 772 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #3 | yen0M | 495 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #4 | w1pe0ut | 467 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #5 | EXC3SS | 440 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cruzera | +2.26 | 82 | 62 |
| #2 | dragon | +2.25 | 89 | 60 |
| #3 | w1pe0ut | +1.41 | 78 | 62 |
| #4 | PI Jatrick | +1.00 | 76 | 71 |
| #5 | yen0M | +0.70 | 84 | 63 |





