








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 101 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
639 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,484 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 519 | 35% |
| Smokes | 281 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 357 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 327 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $435,834 of utility $256 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 176 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blalo | 100% | 9 |
| #2 | Cradler | 60% | 62 |
| #3 | Not ME | 59% | 41 |
| #4 | G O A T | 57% | 47 |
| #5 | yilmazz | 56% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | yilmazz | 56% | 18 |
| #6 | CapybaraLuvr | 50% | 22 |
| #7 | Rust | 50% | 26 |
| #8 | k1llUrz </3 Canım | 48% | 23 |
| #9 | arch | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k1llUrz </3 Canım | 13 | 0.0307 |
| #2 | Cradler | 7 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | CapybaraLuvr | 7 | 0.0169 |
| #4 | G O A T | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | arch | 2 | 0.0120 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cradler | 227 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | G O A T | 156 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | k1llUrz </3 Canım | 138 | 0.33 | 3 min |
| #4 | Rust | 128 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #5 | CapybaraLuvr | 101 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arch | +3.41 | 91 | 51 |
| #2 | Not ME | +3.10 | 75 | 55 |
| #3 | yilmazz | +3.04 | 72 | 76 |
| #4 | Blalo | +2.76 | 46 | 69 |
| #5 | k1llUrz </3 Canım | +2.30 | 77 | 56 |





