








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 262 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1265 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,037 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1546 | 38% |
| Smokes | 1112 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 750 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 629 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $156,271 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 573 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rust | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | Cradler | 57% | 46 |
| #3 | yilmazz | 54% | 81 |
| #4 | hirmas | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | G O A T | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | yilmazz | 54% | 81 |
| #4 | hirmas | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | G O A T | 50% | 6 |
| #6 | CapybaraLuvr | 48% | 71 |
| #7 | Riv | 48% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CapybaraLuvr | 39 | 0.0295 |
| #2 | Cradler | 12 | 0.0135 |
| #3 | yilmazz | 6 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Riv | 5 | 0.0117 |
| #5 | Rust | 2 | 0.0101 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yilmazz | 378 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #2 | CapybaraLuvr | 369 | 0.28 | 8 min |
| #3 | Cradler | 180 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #4 | Riv | 62 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | Rust | 41 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yilmazz | +3.48 | 70 | 78 |
| #2 | k1llUrz </3 Canım | +3.04 | 84 | 58 |
| #3 | CapybaraLuvr | +0.77 | 81 | 55 |
| #4 | Cradler | -0.60 | 66 | 52 |
| #5 | Rust | -0.67 | 74 | 59 |





